A week ago, I had the privledge of being the Camp Nurse for Centrifuge 2012. It was my first time as a camp nurse. I've done camp countless times - from cabin leader to camp director - but never a nurse. We had over 350 students, junior high and highschoolers- plus some 50 or so adult leaders (and yes, the adults injured themselves too - Talking to you Jason from Tri City Baptist) . Along with the twisted ankles, scraped up knees and upset tummies, I had a few repeat offenders who claimed injury - "my ankle's sprained" or "my leg won't let me walk up the big hill"or my favorite "I may have just walked all the way to your cabin from across camp, but I think my foot's broken". I also saw a few homesick kiddos, who just needed to sit with me on the porch and a girls who wanted to talk about the "stuff" in their lives. My cabin had a "revolving" door from sun up to sun down. By the end of the first full day, I felt unprepared and overwhelmed. I wasn't sure if I would last the week. I felt so out of my element. Weird, right? Being a peds nurse, I felt out of my element. Yet, at work, I have other nurses to dialog with and typically a physician or two just a phone call a way. I've never been the one and only. It was challenging to say the least. I can talk a good talk, but when it comes down to it - I sometimes feel completely inept as a nurse. But then I have those moments, those moments that by the grace of God, I do the right thing. And know that it was all Him. I only had one of those moments last week. If it weren't for the Holy Spirit, I may have totally messed up. A camper was passing out, unable to stay "awake". I had no clue at first. Then - aha - low blood sugar, so low he was almost unconscious. I just shoved an orange into his mouth, hoping and praying that would do the trick, otherwise we'd be calling 911. I was so scared - thinking what if this isn't it. He started to perk up and I had him eat the rest of the orange, plus another one. After all was said and done - I had to drop to my knees and thank the Father for helping me know what to do and for telling me to grab and orange on my way out of the dining hall.
Feeling less than awesome, though, was later. By the end of the week, Nurse Nicole was drained. Worn out. My empathy for the "non injury" injuries was waning, which made me feel somewhat of a failure. It felt as if I didn't have anymore to give. It sucked. I wanted to go and hideout in my cabin. Thankfully, the awesomeness of the students and a few honest words from a new friend, I put on my big girl panties and crossed the finish line.
Here's the thing, it will be the same when (and if) I go into career international missions as a nurse. At times, I will feel completely inept. I will get overwhelmed and feel drained. My week at Centrifuge gave me a taste of what I'm in for - good and bad - someday down the road. It makes me wonder, if I can barely last a week - what's going to happen when it's months, years? Maybe there it too will take awesomeness from children and honest words from a friend. Until then, I will go back to Centrifuge next year, armed with a cooler full of ice, a glucometer and maybe even, another nurse.
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