Pooping my pants - lessons from Haiti

I've been missing Haiti today... I was sitting here reminiscing about my last trip.  A third year veteran, I thought I had Haiti wired.  I knew what I was doing.  There was nothing that could catch me off guard. Yeah, I know, seriously arrogant, right? Yet there was lesson that I was forced to learn, yet again -NOTHING goes as planned.  What is the saying, "Wanna make God laugh...make plans." Yeah.. He laughed.
So there I was in Haiti, my home away from home... and BAM! my "plans",  my pride were given the heave ho! 
It was day two -  DAY TWO! - I woke up feeling less than stellar, but I blamed poor sleep, the humidity... once I got to clinic I would rally. Yeah, right.  As the day wore on, I progressively started feeling less and less awesome.  At one point, my dear sweet bestie Sarah commented, "You look like shit."  Well, yes.  That about summed up how I was feeling...however, I didn't have time for this... I had plans.  I had things to do.  Patients to see.  Medications to explain... I didn't have time to sit for an IV and fluids... I was there to work.  I was letting my team down.  I was failing. There I sat, for the majority of the clinic, attached to a tube pouring Lactated Ringers into my system.... and if that wasn't enough, I then proceeded to lose the contents of my stomach outside the back of the church with poor little Haitian children looking on.... and that wasn't the most humiliating thing to happen....
What, pray tell, could possibly be worst than traumatizing sweet little ones with your undigested lunch...  Well, I pooped my pants.... yep.  That happened.  And let me tell you, you never feel more vulnerable then when you have no control and poop your pants.
There I was, getting ready for bed, about to brush my teeth and, well, I'll save you from the gory details, just know - it wasn't pretty...   Thankfully, my dear sweet friend Patty was there and immediately started taking care of me... it was hard to be that vulnerable... completely helpless... and allow my friend to enter into an ugly and unpleasant place..... and for "Miss Independent, I can take care of myself", it might have been one of the hardest things I've ever done.
But that's life right?  That's relationship and community.... Figuratively and literally, allowing your people into your ugly--into the places that only you and the Father know about... I'm still learning how to do this.... I think I will be continuing on this journey for the rest of my life.....


.