What I learned in Haiti....

Last week I was in Haiti serving on a medical team.  My first "official" medical trip since becoming a nurse.  Overall, it was an amazing experience.  Our team was fantastic, I made some new friends, grew as a nurse and fell in love with a country and it's people.
Here are a few things I learned while there--

• Haitian peanut butter has some spice to it. There I was first clinic, eating my first of many PB and J's, and I kept getting a hint of chile or pepper.  Finally, someone told me it was the peanut butter. I might have become a bit obsessed.  It's delicious! 
• Learned to sleep sitting up and sleep when you can.  Almost everyday, we held clinics somewhere other than the HCM compound and traveled to and from via school bus.  Between all the team members, the interpreters, the large bags of rice, coolers and med bags - the school bus was packed.  After a long day of clinic, all you wanted to do was shut your eyes and grab a few winks.  And most times, sitting up was your only option.  I became quite a proficent. 
• I "re" learned my pharmacology.   Being a pediatric nurse, I very rarely give certain meds to my patients or know them by their brand name.   After a few times of having to ask, I finally remembered that Norvasc is Amolodipine.  Also, I learned to count pills by 5's - it's faster.
• I learned that the French I knew as a child, is still in my brain.  Slowly throughout the week, small bits and pieces would come back to me. It was rudimentary, however, I was able to at least communicate a bit.  My dad is so proud. 
• Mangoes in Haiti taste a gagillion times better than here in the states.
• It takes at least 2 hours to get anywhere.  Regardless of what you're told, plan on two hours.  Then if it is actually the 30 minutes they told you originally, it's a blessing  
• I learned when push comes to shove, you sleep on a tile floor with a life preserver as a pillow.
• When a group of 30+ people who barely know each other go on a trip and have a common goal, you are instant friends, growing into a family by the end of the week. Your personal space shrinks as well. (see #2 for additional reason why)
• Speaking of family (not mentioning we were a bunch of medical peeps), you have no qualms discussing such things as cankles, deodorant application, hairy legs, bowel movements or lack there of, drinking enough vs. peeing enough, etc. etc.  Oh and a great new diet plan that Beyonce is going to promote called Miracle Water... :)

Finally, and most importantly, I was reminded that no matter how much self doubt you have, how exhausted you are, how hot and sweaty you are, how many bug bites or how sunburned you are and how grumpy all those things can make you -  you can do all things when the God of the universe has your back.

2012 Reflections...2013 Dreams

Eleven days into the new year, I decided it high time to reflect on 2012 and the year it was.  It was a good year. Here's some of the major events from 2012:

• A full year plus as a pediatric nurse
• Went to Africa for the 3rd time
• Vacationed at Disneyland with 3 friends and fulfilled bucket list item of staying at Disneyland Hotel
• Witnessed many friends get married, have babies and move away to distant places (Missouri, Africa, Southern Asia)
• Got two new tattoos
• Went to San Fransisco for the first time
• Saw a Red Sox game with the one who taught me to be a Red Sox fan, my dad
• Camp Nurse for Centrifuge
• Trips to the Oregon Coast
• Continued hanging with the coolest youth in Oregon
• Rafted White Salmon, went over Husum Falls and lived to tell about it (I might never forgive you for that one Logue)
• Had Thanksgiving at my house and cooked my first turkey (Linda helped)
• Most importantly, fell in love with Jesus even more.

 It was a full and awesome year.  And I think 2013 might give it a run for it's money.

What I dream for 2013:

• Run a 5k  
• Read the Bible cover to cover.
• Reconcile my relationship with my mom. 
• Have fun celebrating one of besties 40th in Vegas!
• Be more intentional with people in my life that I've neglected.  I have some amazing cousins who I should hang out with more.
• Go to Haiti in May for a medical mission trip.
• Become more: 
• Honest
• Merciful
• Gracious
• Vulnerable
• Patient 
• Travel to Ireland and Scotland for a friend's 40th birthday.

That's about it.  I think that's plenty...  I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Voting....

It's election time.  I finally received my ballot. I had been anxiously awaiting it's arrival, so you can imagine my glee when I opened my mailbox and there it sat, in all it's glory. All elections are important, but this is the biggie!  Like the Olympics, it only comes around every four years.  (Well, that was until they changed the Olympics - but - thats for another blog) Anywho - The big decision on everyones mind: Which man is the right man to lead our country?  There's been a lot of discussion on who to vote for, which issues carry weight, who would be a better president, etc. Social media sites are full of all sorts of comments. A gamut of thoughts including, but not limited to, if you vote for one candidate, you're signing our country up for the dark ages or socialism or [fill in your favorite horrible circumstance].
My favorite are the posts are ones that insinuate that if you vote for a certain candidate your Christianity is highly suspect. I have had an extremely difficult time not responding to these posts.  The "jerk" in me wants to goad them into a facebook "debate" - letting them know their posts are not only incongruous, but some of their information is unsubstantiated.  However, it's not worth the argument nor will it do anything more than fire me up.  And, in all honesty, neither their vote nor mine would change.  Debates like that aren't what I base my choices on anyway.
My vote is decided on a myriad of issues, not just one or two.  I rely on what I feel the candidate will bring to the table that will be good for ALL people in our country.  How will their ideas, politics and policies effect the entire population.  As a nurse, I look at their stance on health care.  As a woman, I look at their political track record when it comes to women's issues. As a concerned global citizen, I look at foreign policy.  And, yes, as a Christian, I look at their current and past stance on a variety of issues, not just abortion and same sex marriage.  And here's the other thing, even though I am proud registered democrat (gasp! shocking!), I don't vote for a candidate based on the -D or -R after their name.  (Here's a quick side note - not all Christians are Republican nor are all Republicans- Christians... just sayin') You may choose to vote differently than me. That's ok.  That's one of the many awesome things about being a citizen of this great country - we have the freedom to vote for who we see fit and not have to justify our choice. Isn't that great?
And for those of you wondering (or not, but this is my blog so I can write what I want) I made my decision for which presidential candidate gets my vote... And if you know me at all, you already know who...Yep. I'm voting to re-elect President Obama. 
Proceed questioning my Chritianity or giving me a high five.  I'm good with both.

Learning instead of just being...

con·tent/kənˈtent/ Adjective: In a state of peaceful happiness.

Verb: Satisfy (someone).

Noun: 1.A state of satisfaction: "the greater part of the century was a time of content". Synonyms: adjective. contented - pleased - satisfied - glad - happ 

verb. satisfy - gratify - please - indulge - suffice

noun. contents - satisfaction - contentment
 

It's been awhile since my last post. Lots has happened over the last few weeks.  Went to East Africa.  It was amazing!  It was everything I could have hoped for and more.  It was life changing to say the least.  On this trip the Father gave me much to think and pray about.  Including Phillipians 4:11.  Specifically, where Paul says, " ¹¹ ... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." 

Learned to be content.  Who would of thought?  In all my years as a Christ follower, I've always kinda just assumed that if I wasn't content, I was doing something wrong or that I was saying that Jesus wasn't enough. That I was missing something or other that made me content and therefore, the "content boat"-whatever that is- sailed without me.  Why wasn't I "content"?  As if it was this "state of being" that one acheived at Christian maturity.  Like nirvana, or something. Of course, when I see that in writing I have to laugh, because that doesn't even make any sense. There's no magic "content" pill or Fairy Godmother that sings "bibbity boppity boo -  now your content too!"  I'm sure I've read Phillipians 4:11 a bunch of times and just floated right over the word "learned".  I kept expecting to one day wake up and find contentment.  I'm not saying I've been living in this constant state of dissatisfaction with life, all sad and depressed.  However, there have been times when my - as the definition reads - state of satisfacton or peaceful happiness has waned.  And then in East Africa something changed. I changed. My understanding changed.  All it took was Mike speaking those words to someone else on our team. I wasn't even involved in the conversation.  I just overheard him.  Talking to one our teammates he said, "Paul said he learned to be content." It was like a light bulb went on.  There almost was this audible "click", like something snapped into place. What? Paul said what? Where?  I immediately pulled out my bible and looked it up.  There in Phillipians chapter 4, verse 11 - Paul said he "learned" to be content.  It was so liberating. I think I even got a little giddy. It was like the final puzzle piece I needed from the Father to know which way I was headed. As I said earlier, the Father gave me much to think about in Africa, a decision that would effect my life greatly, including if I follow the path that I believe God wants me to follow, it might mean closing a door on another path that I've wanted to take for some time. (sorry for the vagueness, not ready to share specifically yet).  Not that I've got it all figured out, but I've had some major progress. I'll let you know how it goes.... 

Jesus and Chicken

Heres a question to ponder: Would Jesus have eaten at Chick-fil-a yesterday?

Ok, this whole Chick-fil-a thing...  I think Christians missed the boat on this BIG TIME.  I've been thinking about this for a few days now, seeing all the posts on FB about supporting Chick-fil-a, hearing it on all the radio and all I've go to say is SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!???!!!  I mean come on!  Christians all over America jumped on some bandwagon that I don't even think the president of Chick-fil-a, Dan Cathy, meant to create.  He stated his opinion about gay marriage in a very honest and non-condemning way. Other peeps stated their opinion in response and all of a sudden it was a "war" about the 1st amendment and freedom of speech, fighting for family values, etc. etc..Then, Mike Huckabee created his "Support Chick-fil-a day" yesterday and thousands of people went and ate chicken.  Don't get me wrong. Chick-fil-a does make good chicken. There used to be one at Lloyd Center.  I remember eating there as a kid, but I still don't get it. Am I missing something??  When did loving a moral stand become more important than loving on people?  Oh wait, that's right.  That IS what the general population thinks about Christians. That we are more about rules of what to do and not do and pointing our fingers at all that is wrong, instead of meeting people where they are at, building relationships and sharing with them the Good News of Jesus. In addtion, we don't help by continually giving them SO much ammunition. Is this how we as Christians are meant to share Christ's love with the world?  We walk around talking about "loving people to Christ" and yet we post hateful statements on various social media outlets. Hateful? May be a little strong.  So, not hateful - but sure as heck not loving.  Even if under the guise of supporting some one's 1st amendment right of free speech. OK, then, let's turn the table. What if Mr. Cathy wasn't a Christian and in an interview made a statement against the Christian faith?  Would you be so fast at protecting his 1st amendment right? Street goes both ways people. If Mr. Cathy has the right to say he doesn't believe in gay marriage, someone else has the right to say they don't believe in Jesus. And the mayor of whatever town has the right to say what they want.     
Here's my last and final thought - shall we say this is me exercising my 1st amendment right... (and I may tick some peeps off with this, but here goes)  Christ followers, lovers of Jesus, Adopted Children of the Almighty God - let's get our heads out of our behinds.  Let's actually do what Christ calls us to do - LOVE people as He loved people.  Let's remember, it's not about us.  It's not about us pushing some agenda.  It's not about picking various "sins" to rally against.  Let's give the non-Christians something to talk about other than how we're against the LGBT community. This all has been very reminiscent to me...  Something about pharisees and tax collectors...  and Jesus.
To answer my first question.  If Jesus went to Chick-fil-a yesterday, it's because He just wanted some chicken,.

Getting a lil more excited...

Today - well, actually yesterday as it is 4 o'clock in the morning - the first Africa team made it back to Portland. I love going to greet people at the airport after trips, especially mission trips.  No matter how kicked or how much a shower is needed - everyone always is so stoked to see their loved ones. And those waiting for them are just as stoked, just as giddy. It always reminds me of the beginning narrative of the movie Love Actually - Hugh Grant as the "Prime Minister" says,
 "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around"

Everyone is all huggy and smiles.  It's infectious. I love it most because they are just amped to tell everyone what the Father did, what awesome things they saw and did. 
This time though, my excitement was even more personal, as the team was coming back from the place I will be headed to in 10 short days. It's new for me - headed to a different place than my two previous trips.  Let me be honest, I've done little thinking about Africa - Between work, Centrifuge and life in general - I really haven't put much thought into getting ready.  Other than finding my journal from the first trip (see previous post) and doing some of the necessary prep - getting ready has been on the back burner. For me, this is odd.  Normally, my bags would be out, mostly packed - with only those last minute items left.  For that reason, today was so good. Seeing the team, with their bright faces, bubbling over with tales to tell... AWESOME!  Even more encouraging was not 1, not 2, but 3 of the team members (including my pastor) said to me you are SO going to love it. I believe my pastor's words were, "Right up your alley."  I got really giddy... actually, I think I got teared up a little.  (so says Jeremy anyway). 
Leaving the airport, I realized I a little more spring in my step... Excitement was building. It was like a little love note from the Father.  Don't you just love it when the Father gives you those?  Now I'm excited.  Now I'm giddy.  Just 10 short days away...

Sun burns. Bug Bites and Ice Packs... all in a days work for a camp nurse.

A week ago, I had the privledge of being the Camp Nurse for Centrifuge 2012.  It was my first time as a camp nurse.  I've done camp countless times - from cabin leader to camp director - but never a nurse.  We had over 350 students, junior high and highschoolers- plus some 50 or so adult leaders (and yes, the adults injured themselves too - Talking to you Jason from Tri City Baptist) . Along with the twisted ankles, scraped up knees and upset tummies, I had a few repeat offenders who claimed injury - "my ankle's sprained" or "my leg won't let me walk up the big hill"or my favorite "I may have just walked all the way to your cabin from across camp, but I think my foot's broken".  I also saw a few homesick kiddos, who just needed to sit with me on the porch and a girls who wanted to talk about the "stuff" in their lives. My cabin had a "revolving" door from sun up to sun down.  By the end of the first full day, I felt unprepared and overwhelmed.  I wasn't sure if I would last the week.  I felt so out of my element. Weird, right?  Being a peds nurse, I felt out of my element.  Yet, at work, I have other nurses to dialog with and typically a physician or two just a phone call a way.  I've never been the one and only.  It was challenging to say the least.  I can talk a good talk, but when it comes down to it - I sometimes feel completely inept as a nurse.  But then I have those moments, those moments that by the grace of God, I do the right thing. And know that it was all Him. I only had one of those moments last week. If it weren't for the Holy Spirit, I may have totally messed up. A camper was passing out, unable to stay "awake". I had no clue at first.  Then - aha - low blood sugar, so low he was almost unconscious.  I just shoved an orange into his mouth, hoping and praying that would do the trick, otherwise we'd be calling 911.  I was so scared - thinking what if this isn't it. He started to perk up and I had him eat the rest of the orange, plus another one.  After all was said and done - I had to drop to my knees and thank the Father for helping me know what to do and for telling me to grab and orange on my way out of the dining hall.
Feeling less than awesome, though, was later. By the end of the week, Nurse Nicole was drained. Worn out.  My empathy for the "non injury" injuries was waning, which made me feel somewhat of a failure.  It felt as if I didn't have anymore to give.  It sucked. I wanted to go and hideout in my cabin. Thankfully, the awesomeness of the students and a few honest words from a new friend, I put on my big girl panties and crossed the finish line.
Here's the thing, it will be the same when (and if) I go into career international missions as a nurse. At times, I will feel completely inept. I will get overwhelmed and feel drained.  My week at Centrifuge gave me a taste of what I'm in for - good and bad - someday down the road.  It makes me wonder, if I can barely last a week - what's going to happen when it's months, years? Maybe there it too will take awesomeness from children and honest words from a friend.  Until then, I will go back to Centrifuge next year, armed with a cooler full of ice, a glucometer and maybe even, another nurse.